[aageneral] Working Mother's Challenge

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Word Count: 778
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Working Mother's Challenge

by Colleen Langenfeld
Copyright (c) 2005

"There were 64.7 million employed women in the U.S. in
2004. Seventy-four percent worked full time, while the
remaining 26 percent worked part time."
Source: US Department of Labor.

No wonder moms are wiped out. We are working hard...and
are more than just 'busy'.

We juggle full time and part time jobs, corporate work
and home offices. We utilize flextime, job-sharing and
telecommuting. Some of us even run our own businesses.

And that's just the beginning.

When we leave our 'jobs', we often jump into our true
love, parenting. Homework, sports, music, clubs, youth
groups, teacher conferences and more. We strive very hard
to balance it all. We know we cannot do everything, but
we do try to choose our priorities carefully. To channel
our main focus on what is most important and valuable to us.

And that is precisely where many of us begin to fight the
battle with frustration.

No matter what your individual schedule, you may feel as
though you could use a bit more order and a little more
relief in your day-to-day life. But if you are like many
working mothers, you simply feel overwhelmed. And when
you feel overwhelmed, you may not think there's any way
to improve your situation.

Well, there is.

As a member of the vast working moms club, I am going
to suggest a slightly difference approach - a new
perspective - that may just work better for you. I call
it the Working Mother's Challenge because when I talk to
working mothers, they often sound locked into their own
particular way of thinking. And it can be a challenge to
change our way of thinking; to move from being stuck and
feeling overwhelmed to a position of feeling more in
control.

So my suggestion is simple. What if, instead of thinking
that you have to work 'harder' or 'do more', the answer
lies in trying 'different'? What if you challenge yourself
to look for a fresh way of approaching an ongoing,
frustrating task? After all, who says you have to do it
the same way over and over? Especially if you are unhappy
with the results.

One solution to coping with some of our feelings of
frustration and overwhelm as working mothers lies in
making little changes. One at a time, consistently and
according to our own time table. As working moms, we are
often accustomed to multitasking, juggling multiple
challenges at a time. But sometimes that super-efficiency
can work against us. Instead of spinning your wheels,
working hard but effecting little change, try zeroing in
on one irritation that is honestly bugging you.

Maybe it's...
- not feeling comfortable with your kids' after school
arrangements.
- always having to hunt for your keys. Again and again.
- coming home to a predictably messy, chaotic house.
- consistently missing deadlines. Even by just a little.

These irritations are small, but very real. It may
surprise you how much better you will feel by fixing
them. So take the energy you normally use to stress over
these personal or professional issues and focus instead
on finding just one solution that will actually change
the result you are getting. Be willing to explore more
than one fix, hunting down the answer that works best
for you. Then stay with that solution, practicing it,
until it no longer feels new and unfamiliar, but is a
comfortable part of your routine.

Another key idea. The solutions you test don't need to
be 'perfect'. In other words, your goal is to reduce OR
eliminate your frustration about a particular challenge.
If you insist on only trying what you perceive as
'perfect' solutions, you will probably never even get
started making a change. You will stay right where you
are. Instead, look for answers that have the potential
to make things better, at least to some degree. That is
the litmus test for a solution worth your time and energy
in implementing it.

Then once a week, once a month, or whatever works best
for you, pick another irritation and find another genuine
improvement. By using this approach, you are making
consistent, tangible forward movement that you can feel
and experience. You are actually reaping the rewards from
your efforts. In addition, you are in control of what
changes you make and when. You can slow down or speed up.
It is completely up to you.

And, best of all, you can kiss your nasty frustration
habit good-bye!

=========================

Colleen Langenfeld energizes busy working mothers with
career, organizing, meal-planning, parenting ideas and
more using the free Working Mothers Great Idea Kit at
http://www.paintedgold.com/moms .

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