[aageneral] EQ That "Little Black Dress" Personality for More Success in Your Personal and Professional Life
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TITLE: EQ That "Little Black Dress" Personality for More
Success in Your Personal and Professional Life
AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
WORD COUNT: 1199
WRAP: 60
"EQ That 'Little Black Dress' Personality for More Success
in Your Personal and Professional Life,"
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
What are you going to wear tonight? Amateurs rely on that
"little black dress" that goes anywhere. The pros? Well,
if it's a Chaine Des Rotisseur dinner at someone's
beachfront property in Tampa, the little black dress would
do (with strappy sandals, of course, since flat shoes were
requested on the invitation), but how much more original to
get a car wash skirt in butter yellow, that would move
oh-so-alluringly in the ocean breeze, and a lightly beaded
thick-ribbed tomato red off-the-shoulder top?
Why not express yourself uniquely and appropriately?
That's what the pros do. And the pros think of
everything - cocktails outside where everyone's mixing
and mingling, and a skirt that loves the breeze. Then
at table, who wants to stare at the top of another black
dress? You'll have on that lovely red with that neckline
that frames your face.
It takes confidence to move away from the little black
dress, so when you do it, it reeks of self-confidence. Get
it?
This is how we know things about people. It's part of EQ,
part of nonverbal communication. And there is nothing that
sells like an aura of self-confidence. It's intriguing.
Anyone can wear a little black dress. And they can wear it
anywhere. But only YOU can sail into that Chaine dinner
with a look that's all your own, and you've thought of
everything -- how to work the breeze and the fact you'll be
seated half the night. You know those Chaine dinners; no
getting up!
Now let's take this to the work place. I'm thinking of the
red jacket dress I saw the other day. The newly promoted
vice president, a woman, walked in wearing a stunning red
outfit, a red dress with a ruffled hem with a long matching
jacket.
My reaction? First, she looks beautiful in red. Second,
red is professional neutral, so why am I having this
negative reaction? Thirdly, it's because that outfit
isn't quite right for this situation. Too red, too much
movement, bad to stand out when you're new. Fourth, but
I want one just like it because it could "go anywhere."
Slap myself! Whenever I've bought anything I "could wear
anywhere," it's always ended up just hanging in my closet.
I COULD wear it anywhere, and so I wore it nowhere.
Going on a dinner date? Yes, the red outfit would do, but it
looks too businesslike. Why not wear the romantic long
skirt with the handkerchief hem, and the white chiffon
blouse with a million buttons that gives his imagination a
workout, and the neckline made for the pendant he gave me?
To church? It looks too partyish.
The opera? It's too nondescript. This is my big chance to
wear the velvet cape and go with the glam!
Giving a presentation? Better the dark print jacket
with the pleating in the back, and a scarf, so my back
looks interesting. They always have to look at my back.
It hides stains too, and no ruffly stuff to catch on
machinery.
But wait! Is this really about dressing? Heavens no, but I
hope the examples brought home a point: if all you've got
in your personality wardrobe is a little black dress, you'll
be fine anywhere, but not just right anywhere.
If you have one communication style, for instance, that you
try to take everywhere, you're going to just-miss with
everyone. And worse than that, you'll miss some of the most
enriching moments of life because you can't quite connect
with the individual in front of you, and meet their style.
If you can't roll on the floor and laugh with a child when
appropriate, or reach across the table at a business meeting
and comfort someone who suddenly bursts into tears, or ramp
up for the PR woman and talk images, and ramp down at the
financial board meeting and talk numbers, or project
accountablity to your employees but relax with your golf
buddies, you're disadvantaged. You're asking too much of
that "little black dress."
If you have only one overt reaction to every situation,
people will see you as wearing the little black dress . like
everyone else. They'll glance your way, say "oh that," slip
you into a category with a label (like "bean-counter", or
"creative type") and never hear what you say, because
they're filling in the blanks from their pre-judgments.
Don't let this happen to you!
You can learn more about who you are and how to add new
things that work (like dresses in the closet) through
studying emotional intelligence. I coach individuals in EQ
and develop EQ programs for organizations. I also train and
certify the coaches who do this, and it's international. We
always start with a good basic intro into neuroaffective
science, a $100 word for the study of emotions ("affect")
which come from the brain ("neuro"). We are our emotions
(or else we're like blank screens) and these emotions
originate from our brain, which is really divided into three
parts, and one of those divided again into two. Most of us
are using only tiny portions of what's available . one
little black dress hanging alone in a huge closet!
Do you want a little black dress persona - the flat
affect, the same expression no matter what happens, or who
you're talking to, or what you're talking about? Everyone
gets the same deal - your wife, your child, your mother,
your boss?
Your emotional intelligence can be developed; that's the
exciting thing. When you increase your EQ you can put aside
that little black dress personality, nice as it is for any
occasion, yet never quite right for the one you're going to,
and add an ever-increasing number and variety of other
outfits to access for your enjoyment and success, and those
of others.
Example? Think of Joe Friday of "Dragnet." He was so
rigidly and forever Joe Friday - "the facts, M'am, just the
facts." That was his little black dress personality. The
subtle appeal of the character was that Joe never varied, no
matter how good - or bad - it got. Put that in your social
life and you have "boring." In your intimate life and you
have "unfulfilling." In your professional life?
Unflexible, unnoticed, and un-promoted.
Now, why am I talking dresses? If you are impatient because
you thought this was about EQ not clothes, or you're a man
and don't wear dresses, so so what? or you don't get what
dresses have to do with emotions, then you REALLY need
to study EQ. It's likely you're missing 90% of what's going
on around you in terms of relationships and information,
which is what your personal and professional success depend
upon.
When you suit up, so to speak, you want people to say,
"Remember that man with the brown Armani jacket/ charismatic
personality? He's the one for the job." And, "Remember
that woman in ivory in a sea of back dresses/that woman who
could engage everyone there in conversation while everyone
else stood around ill-at-ease? She's our new CEO."
EQ - it's about being more of who you are, and being more to
others, offering more and getting more out of life. Give it
a try! It's beats the heck out of something that will
suffice anywhere, but is never quite right anywhere.
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc .
Coaching, Internet courses, business programs, and ebooks
around emotional intelligence for your personal and
professional wellness and success. We train and certify EQ
coaches internationally. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for info
on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency
program. Susan is the author of "Midlife Dating Survival
Manual for Women' and lives in San Antonio, Texas. Email
for FREE ezine.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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TITLE: EQ That "Little Black Dress" Personality for More
Success in Your Personal and Professional Life
AUTHOR: Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
WORD COUNT: 1199
WRAP: 60
"EQ That 'Little Black Dress' Personality for More Success
in Your Personal and Professional Life,"
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
What are you going to wear tonight? Amateurs rely on that
"little black dress" that goes anywhere. The pros? Well,
if it's a Chaine Des Rotisseur dinner at someone's
beachfront property in Tampa, the little black dress would
do (with strappy sandals, of course, since flat shoes were
requested on the invitation), but how much more original to
get a car wash skirt in butter yellow, that would move
oh-so-alluringly in the ocean breeze, and a lightly beaded
thick-ribbed tomato red off-the-shoulder top?
Why not express yourself uniquely and appropriately?
That's what the pros do. And the pros think of
everything - cocktails outside where everyone's mixing
and mingling, and a skirt that loves the breeze. Then
at table, who wants to stare at the top of another black
dress? You'll have on that lovely red with that neckline
that frames your face.
It takes confidence to move away from the little black
dress, so when you do it, it reeks of self-confidence. Get
it?
This is how we know things about people. It's part of EQ,
part of nonverbal communication. And there is nothing that
sells like an aura of self-confidence. It's intriguing.
Anyone can wear a little black dress. And they can wear it
anywhere. But only YOU can sail into that Chaine dinner
with a look that's all your own, and you've thought of
everything -- how to work the breeze and the fact you'll be
seated half the night. You know those Chaine dinners; no
getting up!
Now let's take this to the work place. I'm thinking of the
red jacket dress I saw the other day. The newly promoted
vice president, a woman, walked in wearing a stunning red
outfit, a red dress with a ruffled hem with a long matching
jacket.
My reaction? First, she looks beautiful in red. Second,
red is professional neutral, so why am I having this
negative reaction? Thirdly, it's because that outfit
isn't quite right for this situation. Too red, too much
movement, bad to stand out when you're new. Fourth, but
I want one just like it because it could "go anywhere."
Slap myself! Whenever I've bought anything I "could wear
anywhere," it's always ended up just hanging in my closet.
I COULD wear it anywhere, and so I wore it nowhere.
Going on a dinner date? Yes, the red outfit would do, but it
looks too businesslike. Why not wear the romantic long
skirt with the handkerchief hem, and the white chiffon
blouse with a million buttons that gives his imagination a
workout, and the neckline made for the pendant he gave me?
To church? It looks too partyish.
The opera? It's too nondescript. This is my big chance to
wear the velvet cape and go with the glam!
Giving a presentation? Better the dark print jacket
with the pleating in the back, and a scarf, so my back
looks interesting. They always have to look at my back.
It hides stains too, and no ruffly stuff to catch on
machinery.
But wait! Is this really about dressing? Heavens no, but I
hope the examples brought home a point: if all you've got
in your personality wardrobe is a little black dress, you'll
be fine anywhere, but not just right anywhere.
If you have one communication style, for instance, that you
try to take everywhere, you're going to just-miss with
everyone. And worse than that, you'll miss some of the most
enriching moments of life because you can't quite connect
with the individual in front of you, and meet their style.
If you can't roll on the floor and laugh with a child when
appropriate, or reach across the table at a business meeting
and comfort someone who suddenly bursts into tears, or ramp
up for the PR woman and talk images, and ramp down at the
financial board meeting and talk numbers, or project
accountablity to your employees but relax with your golf
buddies, you're disadvantaged. You're asking too much of
that "little black dress."
If you have only one overt reaction to every situation,
people will see you as wearing the little black dress . like
everyone else. They'll glance your way, say "oh that," slip
you into a category with a label (like "bean-counter", or
"creative type") and never hear what you say, because
they're filling in the blanks from their pre-judgments.
Don't let this happen to you!
You can learn more about who you are and how to add new
things that work (like dresses in the closet) through
studying emotional intelligence. I coach individuals in EQ
and develop EQ programs for organizations. I also train and
certify the coaches who do this, and it's international. We
always start with a good basic intro into neuroaffective
science, a $100 word for the study of emotions ("affect")
which come from the brain ("neuro"). We are our emotions
(or else we're like blank screens) and these emotions
originate from our brain, which is really divided into three
parts, and one of those divided again into two. Most of us
are using only tiny portions of what's available . one
little black dress hanging alone in a huge closet!
Do you want a little black dress persona - the flat
affect, the same expression no matter what happens, or who
you're talking to, or what you're talking about? Everyone
gets the same deal - your wife, your child, your mother,
your boss?
Your emotional intelligence can be developed; that's the
exciting thing. When you increase your EQ you can put aside
that little black dress personality, nice as it is for any
occasion, yet never quite right for the one you're going to,
and add an ever-increasing number and variety of other
outfits to access for your enjoyment and success, and those
of others.
Example? Think of Joe Friday of "Dragnet." He was so
rigidly and forever Joe Friday - "the facts, M'am, just the
facts." That was his little black dress personality. The
subtle appeal of the character was that Joe never varied, no
matter how good - or bad - it got. Put that in your social
life and you have "boring." In your intimate life and you
have "unfulfilling." In your professional life?
Unflexible, unnoticed, and un-promoted.
Now, why am I talking dresses? If you are impatient because
you thought this was about EQ not clothes, or you're a man
and don't wear dresses, so so what? or you don't get what
dresses have to do with emotions, then you REALLY need
to study EQ. It's likely you're missing 90% of what's going
on around you in terms of relationships and information,
which is what your personal and professional success depend
upon.
When you suit up, so to speak, you want people to say,
"Remember that man with the brown Armani jacket/ charismatic
personality? He's the one for the job." And, "Remember
that woman in ivory in a sea of back dresses/that woman who
could engage everyone there in conversation while everyone
else stood around ill-at-ease? She's our new CEO."
EQ - it's about being more of who you are, and being more to
others, offering more and getting more out of life. Give it
a try! It's beats the heck out of something that will
suffice anywhere, but is never quite right anywhere.
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc .
Coaching, Internet courses, business programs, and ebooks
around emotional intelligence for your personal and
professional wellness and success. We train and certify EQ
coaches internationally. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for info
on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency
program. Susan is the author of "Midlife Dating Survival
Manual for Women' and lives in San Antonio, Texas. Email
for FREE ezine.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
########################################################
Looking For Quality Content?
The Syndicator provides free, quality syndicated articles
for your website that are automatically updated each week.
Syndication feeds include:
Business/Sales
Internet Marketing/Promotion
Web Design/Development
Biz Tips
Web Design Tips
Home & Family Matters
Dinner Ideas
Health & Fitness
Horoscopes
AngelVoice
Headlines
and more...
http://www.web-source.net/syndicator.htm
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