[aageneral] Are You Keeping Yourself From Your Next Dream Job?
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Article Title:
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Are You Keeping Yourself From Your Next Dream Job?
Article Description:
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8 out of 10 Americans want a new job. Ironically,
Ive found that most clients start the career
planning with a limited sense of possibility.
Additional Article Information:
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922 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line
Distribution Date and Time: Fri Jun 3 05:08:18 EDT 2005
Written By: Sharon M. Melnick
Copyright: 2005, All Rights Reserved
Contact Email: mailto:sharon.melnick@thephantomwriters.com
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Are You Keeping Yourself From Your Next Dream Job?
Copyright © 2005 Sharon M. Melnick, All Rights Reserved
http://www.sharonmelnick.com/index.htm
8 out of 10 Americans want a new job (Society of HR
Professionals, Dec. 2003). When people want to figure
out their career situation, they are generally looking for
something that is better or more, i.e., more passion, more
of a challenge, more balance, or more money. Ironically,
Ive found that most clients start the career planning with
a limited sense of possibility.
Limitations come from:
* Lack of confidence ("On one level I know I can start out on
my own, but when it comes to doing it, I think I can't; so
I don't!")
* Self imposed constraints ("I have to be the one to get the
health care for my family, so I must have a corporate job"
or "I'm not happy but I can't make the time to do anything
about it.")
* Unchallenged conclusions ("It's irresponsible to consider
taking time off that's like being a 20 year old again"
or "I can't switch industries now; I have no experience so
nobody will want to hire me.")
* Blinding fears ("What if I make the wrong choice I've made
too many mistakes already. I can't afford to choose wrong
again.")
These statements are all interpretations what I call "stories"
about "facts" that do exist for real in your life. For example,
having no experience in a new industry is an objective "fact";
believing that it means you can't enter the new industry is a
"story." Your constraining self-talk seems like it reflects
realistic ideas about everyday events.
But in fact, your "stories" have no materiality to them; they
are just the product of neurons firing in your brain. "Stories"
derive from deeply entrenched limiting beliefs.
If you are unable to move forward, it is usually because you are
seeing your assumptions as "true" or "factual" something you
must work around without challenge. You are often unaware that
you make your "stories" into "facts." For example, "I can't try
to get a new job in the new industry now" becomes an unchallenged
truth for you. You limit your spectrum of possible next steps
and hold back from pursuing possibilities that could be more
satisfying to you.
Here's an example:
After a few discussions about how he could locate another bank
job, a 40 year old male banker told me he has always wanted to
work in the film industry. His frequent self talk had been "I
don't believe I could ever make it in the film industry," "The
only way my wife will feel safe is if I get our healthcare
through my bank job," etc. He was confining his search to
bank jobs, even though he was unhappy.
When he developed confidence to overcome his limiting ways of
thinking, he transitioned to a film industry job for which he
exudes passion. He saw that the reasons he had kept himself
from this dream choice - for 15 years! - were all self imposed.
He "Got out of his own way."
Similarly, without this kind of process:
An IT professional would have continued his 2 year
procrastination and not started his own company.
* A languishing MBA grad would never have seized a desired job
as hedge fund analyst.
* A female lawyer client would never have pursued a 3 month
sabbatical to paint in Rome.
Unrealistic? That's what they thought at the beginning, too!
Heres another example:
In a delightful book called The Art of Possibility (by Roslyn
and Ben Zander), there is a good example of how unchallenged
stories determine ones reality. Two shoe salesmen are sent
to Africa and send a telegram home to their companies. The
first writes: No one in Africa wears shoes. Im coming
home. The second writes: No one in Africa wears shoes.
Score! Send over the sales team! Same facts different
stories about the facts. Whos going to have a more
successful career?
Where Might You Be Self Imposing Constraints On Your Career?
Career coaches help you figure out your skills and interests
after you have an unblocked sense of these. But until you "get
out of your own way," a career counselor can only help you pursue
the limits of your conscious possibilities. Avoid making next
steps that keep you stuck in a rut or still dissatisfied. "Get
out of your own way first.
Managing your Negative Voice
When you are considering making a decision, notice all of the
statements that get activated in response to your considerations
it may even help to write them down.
Notice how many of these statements reflect assumptions youve
made and then acted on as if they were objectively true.
Notice how these stories about the facts constrain and
demoralize you.
You do this hundreds of times a week, except that you dont
realize it because you truly believe that the stories you tell
are true, so why challenge them. Whether it has to do with your
career search process or not, believe in yourself enough to check
out your hunches, get factual confirmation, and find a creative
way around the barriers you have imposed.
Action Steps
1) Track the kinds of stories that you seem to tell often
these automatic stories are the filter through which you
see the world.
2) Give yourself the exercise to have to tell 3 alternative
stories before you can act.
3) Clearly articulate what you want for your life or for the
situation; then choose the story that is in the service of
your goals in life.
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Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. helps talented and successful people get
out of their own way. Sign up for her 5-week teleseminar that
helps you Get Rid of Your Negative Voice Forever
( http://www.sharonmelnick.com/index.htm)
Check out the life changes others have had using her proven
process to identify your blocks and unleash you from them.
Learn more about her offerings at her website,
http://www.sharonmelnick.com
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