[aageneral] Harmonizing for Happiness

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Title: Harmonizing for Happiness
Word Count: 504
Author: Julian Kalmar
Email: articles@thehappinessformula.com
Article URL: http://www.submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=1526

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Harmonizing for Happiness
Copyright 2005 Julian Kalmar

Harmonizing is a means of becoming happier by aligning
yourself with the way the world is unfolding.

To illustrate, imagine yourself in a moving crowd. If the
crowd changes direction and you stubbornly insist on
traveling in a straight line at the same speed, there will
be collisions, upset, and maybe even a fight.

Amazingly, this is how a lot of people operate—indifferent
to the discord they are creating around themselves. They
unknowingly create tension and unrest because they don’t
know how to harmonize with their environment.

def. Harmonizing – the intentional process of
making small changes in your choice of actions
to enhance the greater good."

Two primary means of creating harmony are: altering the
timing, and altering the location of your actions. Consider
the following example, which has the potential for discord.

Let’s say you have two things to accomplish one quiet
Saturday morning: packaging up and taking three boxes to
the post office, and writing a proposal. Just as you sit
down to write the proposal, your neighbor starts mowing his
lawn. The noise is unbearably distracting.

You have several options. You could try to write the
proposal in spite of the noise, but you’ll probably just
get angry at your neighbor. You could try to find another
place to write, although that could be very inconvenient.
You could plead with your neighbor to delay the
lawn-mowing, but that would likely upset his plans. Or, you
could package up your three boxes first and head to the
post office. By the time you return, the mowing will be
over. Clearly, the most harmonious option is the last one.

By becoming sensitive to the first inklings of inharmony,
and then actively considering whether you can alter the
timing or location of your actions, you can significantly
improve your happiness level.

Timing and location changes aren’t the only ways to
increase harmony, however.

Consider the lawn-mowing example again. What if your
neighbor really needs to mow at exactly the same time that
you must write your proposal? Both of you have committed to
schedules that put you in each other’s way. Now what?

How about this? Tell your neighbor that you’d be happy to
mow his lawn for him if you could have this quiet time you
so desperately need. Not only does this solve both of your
problems, it breeds good will. Next time he’ll mow your
lawn when he does his. Rather than struggling through the
noise and getting secretly angry at your neighbor, you’ve
found a solution that makes you friendlier to one another.

This goes beyond the “win-win” situation—where competitors
each try to get their fair share. It actually creates
harmony and friendship by enhancing good will. I call
these, “harmonizing solutions.” Everyone gets what they
need, and friendship is bolstered.

Creating harmonizing solutions requires two things: good
will and creativity. Begin with good will and then imagine
creative ways to help each other succeed. A harmonious
solution can almost always be found. Happiness is the
natural byproduct.

About the Author:

Julian Kalmar is part of a small think tank dedicated to
spreading happiness throughout the world. More happiness
teachings are available in his 4-CD audio collection,
“Happiness: The Highest Gift.” (See
www.thehappinessformula.com.)

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