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Sunday, June 05, 2005

[aageneral] The Common Denominator in Today's Fast-Changing, Multicultural World

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TITLE:  The Common Denominator in Today's
Fast-Changing, Multicultural World
AUTHOR:  Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
WORD COUNT:  988
WRAP:  60
URL:  http://www.susandunn.cc
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc

"The Common Denominator in Today's Fast-Changing,
Multicultural World,"
by Susan Dunn , MA, The EQ Coach

Perhaps you've asked yourself this question in the
past few years, or asked someone else whom you
thought might have the answer.   You're wondering
what you can hang on to, where you can find an
anchor, or at least a marker bouy, in a world
that's never the same, and more not the same all
the time.

I remember about ten years ago having a
conversation with a minister.  I was consulting
for the church, spend a lot of time on-site, and
also was experiencing a relatively chaotic time in
my personal life.  I had my own business and was
consulting for a variety of organizations and the
people and issues were hard to reconcile.  At the
same time, I was raising children ten years apart
in age, and as the second one entered middle
school, I found that the milieu had changed
dramatically.  I didn't know any of the other
parents, all the mothers were now working outside
the home so there was no supervision after school
except mine, as I could arrange my own schedule,
and this teen, I was raising as a single parent.
At the same time, the many parishioners I listened
to at the church were living what would've been
called "lives of quiet desperation" a decade prior,
but now might be termed lives of "noisy"
desperation.

"I'm having trouble getting a grip," I told the
minister.

Her reply?  "Everyone is.  If only people could
hear what other people say, when they talk to me
about.  We're all in the same boat of confusion
and rapid change."

So there is the common denominator?  We are all
experiencing the same thing?  How can this be,
when the problem is that the particulars are all
so different?  I was working daily with - to use
generalizations and labels - southerners and
northerners, seniors and teens, Protestants,
Catholics, and Jews, singles and marrieds, parents
and DINKs, people from all walks of life.  That
was ten years ago. 

Now we can add to the mix that many of the people
we'll work and socialize with weren't born in this
country, or have parents who weren't, and the
multitude of nationalities represented, with the
attendant cultures, religions and ethnic backgrounds
has proliferated.  Today we can count on, in the
workplace and in our neighborhoods, a dizzying
revolving door of these same people as they're
downsized, relocated, ex-patriated or re-
nationalized...or we are.

The true common denominator I've found, since I
work internationally and get to meet and know
people from many different countries, is that the
we all have feelings about these things.   

The common denominator for all people is emotions. 
We all have them.  In fact, if you think about it,
when you're faced with someone who doesn't speak
the same language as you do, we often revert to
the primitive feelings level.  We make a gesture
to say how hot it is outside; or we grimace and
point to our feet, to show they hurt; or we point
to the spectacular sunset and show an expression
of awe.  And we begin with a big smile, showing
our teeth, in the ancient gesture of disarmament,
because fear of strangers is innate.  If we show
our teeth, we can't be biting with them, and if
we extend our hand, palm exposed, we can't be
concealing a weapon.

We revert to the sort of communication we use with
infants and babies.  We vocalize about what's
right in front of us (a bright ball, the sun in
the sky, a ceiling fan whirling around) and we use
our hands, faces, noises, and posture to comment
about this.  Like the dog wagging its tail, we do
what we can to connect and engage, because this,
too, is innate.  We reach out to the other regarding
the physical world in relation to feelings about it,
and this limbic connection (referring to the limbic
brain) we share with all humans (and all mammals), a
and we rely on our emotional intelligence.

I train and certify emotional intelligence coaches
all over the world.  Part of the work is reading
and study, and part is the weekly phone session.
A "typical" group might include a medical doctor
from France, a marketing professional from D. C.,
a consultant from Malaysia, a business owner from
Singapore, a personal life coach from Texas, and a
psychometric specialist from the UK.

What do they all have in common?  They want to
learn how to coach others in EQ and to improve
their own.

How do I start the sessions?  With The EQ CheckinT
:  "How are you feeling emotionally, mentally,
physically, and spiritually?"

The French doctor is excited about his work in
"energetic medicine".  The UK psychometrist is
mentally "keen", as she finds EQ to be "spot-on."
The personal life coach from Texas wants "us all"
("Y'all") to know her leg is healing and she's
feeling better physically.  The gentleman from
Singapore says that emotionally he's "reflective",
because he thinks if he hadn't said thus-and-such
to his wife, the marriage might have been saved.
The consultant from Malaysia says that she doesn't
know how to answer "this spirituality question,"
and the marketing professional from D. C. says,
"I don't either."

The accents are different, the speed and amount of
the speech varies, and some of the words are
regional, but the answers are immediately
comprehensible.  There is the bond.  We all know
what it's like to feel --  physically,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  And we all
have, or have had, or will have, physical pain,
broken hearts, professional enthusiasm, and
questions about spirituality.

The more things change, and the greater the number
and variety of the cultures we deal with, the more
important our emotional intelligence becomes.
Study it, learn applications, and increase your
skills.  It's not what's going on that throws us,
it's how we think and feel about it that does,
and, as the Chinese say: "The beginning of wisdom
is to call things by their right name."  Self-
awareness is the cornerstone of EQ, and emotional
expression, empathy, flexibility and resilience
are some of the competencies. 

(c)Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach,
http://www.susandunn.cc .  Individual coaching,
business EQ culture and diversity programs,
Internet courses and ebooks around emotional
intelligence for your personal and professional
well-being and success.  We train and certify EQ
coaches internationally.
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this
fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency
program.  Email for FREE EQ ezines.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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